My friend was being sarcastic and said "Oh yes, how awful to be so nice." But that isn't it at all. I'm not necessarily all that nice, as a general rule. If you aren't really my friend, I probably won't go out of my way to even be too friendly to you.
But then.
If I do care about you, if we've become friends and close through whatever means, then I care immensely, and I manage to find it impossible to stop caring once I've started. Separating myself from people I have loved isn't difficult in the traditional sense, I just...can't. I probably won't stop loving someone once I've started, which is starting to be something of a burden as I get older and have more experiences.
My heart used to be so guarded, and in a lot of ways, I seem to have gone in the complete opposite direction in the recent past. Now, my heart is very open, and I am almost...vulnerable. I hated the reticent person I was, and I made myself take more risks. I love people, even after others think I am just hurting myself, because I can't help throwing my whole heart into a friendship. I guess it's stupid. It isn't really wise of me, which is against type, and I can't say that I trust just anyone...that definitely isn't the case. It's just that once I do, I never want to lose the other person. Those that have become close to me have a piece of my heart, without a doubt.
So, maybe I do care too much. Maybe I let people in to entirely too much of my heart, and I should hide it away. Maybe I shouldn't be so open, so honest, so willing to share it all.
But it's just who I am.
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