thiefy

Do not fear the truth beneath

Reach for roots beneath the trees

Listen to the words you seek

Don't listen to a word they say

Do not listen to a word you've heard

People are people, we live for our own

Live how you think, not by what you've been told

(I stole this from Cara, not sure if it's lyrics or a poem or what but I LOVED it)

Geneva

Yes, I am writing this post about clothes...I love getting dressed!

I was never good at drawing, or painting, but I do have a creative part of me that is quite alive. Finding ways to express that has been a bit challenging...but one way that I have been able to be very creative and show my personality has been in the way I dress. It's hard to pinpoint my style...not totally trendy, like I walked out of an Urban Outfitters catalog, but not totally random either. Now that I'm living in an amazing city, I've found my lack of money to be less than an obstacle. As Lagerfeld once said, kids without money are the best, because they have to be creative if they care about style. So basically, 

Energy+creativity+little money+being in a city with many thrift stores=me.

I was at Oona's thrift store on Mass Ave near Harvard Square on Saturday and I bought this awesome blue mermaid gown for $25...it was originally $2600, just by the way. Anyways, it's so much more fun to have a wardrobe built of "found" pieces and clothing with a story. It helps that I can't take myself very seriously, and I am really developing a sense of humor about the way I dress. My shopping rules: if it's cheap and funny or makes me feel like a ballerina, or BOTH which has happened from time to time, then I will buy it :)

oh miedo

Fear. It's a great motivator, and a great source of hesitation. I hate fear, and I have it, which is quite irritating sometimes. It holds you back from getting what you want because you feel like the risk isn't worth the great thing that could happen. "Should" is my least favorite word in the dictionary, because we all say that we "should" do something that we would absolutely love to do, which is inevitably followed by the "but I can't because..." BECAUSE OF FEAR. Hesitation holds us back so so often....being realistic, of course we can't do everything we'd love to do because life doesn't generally allow every person that luxury. However, there are so many things that we COULD do, that we don't, because of fear. I find that the most common fear is the fear of losing your own self image, ego, or the high opinions of the people around you. 

Well you know what? If you are confident enough, and if you are surrounded by the right people, you will feel better,not worse, after you have taken a risk. My last year of high school was also the point at which I decided to stop caring what people thought of me and let go of trying to seem "cool", and just be weird/take the risks I have always wanted to. I managed, in letting go of a lot of my inhibitions (no alcohol necessary), to find myself, to be much happier. I became louder, more outgoing, and "bubbly" because I wasn't worried about projecting some image of myself that I was cool or whatever. I found myself dancing like an idiot in public, laughing with strangers, becoming friends with the Starbucks staff, and somehow freaking a few people out...but if people are desiring to see you as strange instead of funny or just good-crazy, do you really want to hang out with them? I think those people are just a little boring, or a little too afraid of embracing their own silly side. 

Let me not give out a false image of myself. I still have fears. When I got to college, I toned myself down a lot because I didn't want to alienate anyone...and now that I have really cool friends, I'm totally letting go of that, because it was just me ignoring my personality. Right now I am battling myself in being the (incredibly) straightforward girl I am versus not potentially scaring someone off....and it's hard, because going with fear is so much easier. It makes life less interesting, and less fun, but it is also a safer feeling. You have to push yourself to travel the road of less surety.

I leave you with a quote: "People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived." -Logan, Gilmore Girls

20 Things

I will begin this with a preface. I don't like to complain, though of course I do it. For Lent this past spring, my best friend and I gave up complaining...it was an interesting endeavor, to say the least. It makes you realize how incredibly blessed I am with what I have, no matter how difficult life may seem sometime. I am totally aware of how fortunate I am..and with saying that, I proceed:

My List of Things I Want (But Are Certainly Not Necessities)

1. My first snowfall (and the other thing...)

2. An ankle that does not spontaneously sprain itself

3. Magical chemistry genius

4. To not make stupid decisions

5. To not get SO frustrated with other people's even stupider decisions

6. One night of sleeping in my own bed, back home

7. A bowl of majedrah (it's this rice/lentil stuff...it's amazing)

8. To not be so sensitive to smoke...so many students smoke here

9. The Ben Folds cd

10. To not have 25 hours of class time next semester

11. A lack of uncertainty/hesitation about the future of our country, and our world

12. The ability to not get (almost) hit by every bike on Comm Ave

13. Magic (non Jolt gum supplied) energy

14. Magic

15. My puppy, to fall asleep/be a big lazylump on my pillow

16. I'm gonna go ahead and say repeat of number 1, combining parts A and B

17. More nutella

18. Justice.

19. A campfire

20. Reciprocity

So that's my list. Some of these things will come true, some of these things may come true, and some are just wishful thinking. So,for now...I wish and wait :)

redux

I know I already wrote about friendships...I said a lot about carefully choosing who you surround yourself with in regards to the effect they can have on you, but I never said anything about how they can make you feel. Happy is definitely important, and content is amazing. Having a friend requires more than just the feeling of happiness when you are hanging out, though. If you are hurt by a friend, not necessarily intentionally but because of carelessness or blindness to your feelings, be wary. I have had friends who didn't see what they were doing to me, and I don't blame them, but I also am wary of how much of my heart I give to them. So I just wanted to add that to the previous post. And I am grateful, of course, to my friends who have ALWAYS supported me and constantly contradict me when I have low self confidence...they're keepers.

In other news...I hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween (weekend). I had some fun going dancing with my lovely friendlies. And gosh it is getting QUITE cold up here in Boston, currently it is 40 degrees outside, so I am VERRRY slowly adjusting to that. I wear a lot of layers, basically, and hope my face doesn't completely freeze solid with the windchill.  But I can't lie and say that I'm not still completely in love with Boston...it's my city, and I love it here.