In Confidence

What an interesting weekend. It was...so strange. Friday, a partying mood turned into hilarious disgust, wanderlust, and a kind act. Saturday proved stereotypes to be based in truth, that nothing ever lives up to it's hype, and that friends are the greatest late at night. Sunday, today, brings frustration, surprise, and the realization that at the end of the day, that you have to be your own champion...the confident swagga has to come from within.

A very strange weekend, only fitting for one beginning with Friday the 13th.

I lost my mojo today. For a little while, I mean. It's not gone, it's quite back, but it takes work to maintain. I don't know if that is true for everyone but it is true for me. And I love the people who are here to remind me.

So, a bit on confidence. I'm generally thought of as very confident...probably because I'm very assertive and love talking to strangers. And I am, but I'm still human, and I still have insecurities. I guess what I've realized is that no matter who you are, no matter if you are a quiet wallflower or the biggest egoface on the planet, confidence is a slippery slope. With the smallest impetus, one can lose their confidence, an immaterial object that enjoys tricking us into a false sense of security. For true confidence, not arrogance, you have to be fully honest with yourself on your shortcomings AND your strengths. Arrogance is NOT confidence, because a confident person would never put someone else down to make themselves feel better-they don't need to. Arrogance is used to cover up what you see in yourself as failure, and to build a wall between you and the world. Confidence reveals the best in our true selves like a painting. The most confident among us are inclusive because they are secure in who they are, kind because they don't need to be self centered, and friendly because it's a joyful give and take. And they often don't understand youthful "social norms", for those are so often driven by the abundant insecurities of our generation.

These are the people I want around me, and this is the person that I always want to be. Whatever gives you confidence, do it, because you will become a person that makes the world a little brighter. And in a world as dark as our own, don't we need more of you?