I've had a few anxieties as of late, about "the future" and about school, such normal things that college students typically deal with. I find it quite easy to Ce La Vie, but not in a resigned way. I am actively enjoying my life. For a girl who often finds herself overwhelmed by her own head, it's actually a struggle to relax, if that makes any sense. I'm just finding the things that give me joy, or even just bits of happiness, and I stick with them. For me, it really is that simple.
Halloween was yesterday, meaning today is 364 days till the next one. I think November 1 may be my most favorite day of the year, then. I'm not a huge fan of the "college halloween", though my costume was great..Amelia Earhart, one of my personal heroes.
Just in case you were wondering, my personal heroes are:
Amelia Earhart, for her courage and persistance at a goal that was literally impossible.
Grace Kelly, for her ability to have incredible grace under pressure, and to be able to always be a lady, even being polite would be irrelevant to most people.
Dolly Parton, for her humor and ability to ignore the naysayers and the negative people all around her, even when it was so difficult to do so.
And, my mom, for raising me to be so quirky and unusual. It's not always easy being different, but in the end, I'm happier this way.
Anyways...I am trying to not live with regrets, but it's tough sometimes. I think about things I could have done differently, or better, constantly. But I'm human and I'm learning and FINALLY I am actually changing myself in accordance with the learning..it's like, you learn something in your head, and you know it, but a piece of you refuses to take it in totally and adapt but I am doing it now. So proud of myself. I'm opening myself up more! Not that I am super sharing girl, I'm just emotionally more open. And, yeah, that means more vulnerable. But I'm not afraid anymore. I can't be, because I want connections and I want love and maybe someday...I want to be in love? Oh boy that's a big step. Let's go one day at a time for now.
Also, I love my room. I felt like sharing that. It's the perfect amount of space for a single and it's bright and clean and cluttered in a homey way. I do not like the laundry in the corner. Go away! Clean yourself!
I must adjourn my post for today. No deep social observations this time around.
Although, look for this week's social conversation: girls. Why are they so nice when they don't know you but they know your suitemate? Also, why is everything a threat? And why do girls want to look sexy but have an excuse to not be labelled...promiscuous? I think this week will be a series on the girl psyche. Look out!
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