No white knight

I FIGURED IT OUT.

Myself, I mean. I figured myself out. Ok so I always said I don't know what I believe, but I don't think that I believe in love...love seems so. Eh. And I just always kept myself so protected all the time and every guy I met became my friend and nothing more and I just got so TIRED all the time and nothing mattered, romance was a distant idea that happened to other people but never to me BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND.

I always thought..no, knew, that love was possible and real and something that happened. I always just thought of it in the abstract, never something personal that could actually happen to me. I didn't realize it until now, but I just honestly did not think about anything actually coming true for me and THAT'S why I felt so alone and so jaded. But I get it now. And I don't think it's impossible for me, though I can't pretend that all my walls have been torn down in a matter of minutes. 

But, for me, and for every girl out there, this is what I really believe:

Chivalry is not dead. It just has an ulterior motive.

(He's opening that door because he was actually raised well...or he thinks you're pretty. Or a little of both.)

Romance is not lost. You just have to have enough hope to really believe in it.

(So proven)

Magic is real. Just don't look to disprove it, and it will overtake your life. 

(I have managed to never lose my sense of wonder. I find magic in too much, because being amazed has never hurt me, while refusing to believe is never pleasant.)

Sure, it's lovely to be taken care of and feel rescued, but that is always your own responsibility first, and a luxury when someone else is willing to help you. As I get older, I realize that you will be treated as you demand to be treated. I understand the male brain very well, and girls that think I'm sad and mistaken and destined for loneliness...they don't get it, yet. I hope that they do someday. Do whatever makes you feel amazing...and I'm not going to judge whatever that is. If you love who it makes you, then don't ever stop. 

And that's what I figured out, when I got hurt today. Yes, I'm a little tired of having bad situations that force me to learn things but I am grateful that I can learn something and...well...someday, maybe, it will all be worth it. I have to believe that too. Someday, maybe.