Last night I had a discussion with a friend about friendship, and how to define a best friend. Of course, we were talking about one of my specific friends, but she made me think. Hard. In my humble opinion, I have always been a really good friend, sometimes to the detriment of myself. I'm a great listener, problem solver, and I like doing random cute things for people. I also get the angriest at the people who I consider to be my closest friends, because I guess I hold them up to impossible standards sometimes, but only because I see them through the lens of being perfect, and when they aren't perfect, it sends me reeling.
I feel like a lot of our young lives are spent trying to find great friends, which, let's face it, is incredibly important. Who we're friends with will affect us on a very deep level. These are the people who give you advice, who should support you in your darker hours, and are basically the family that you get to choose. Sometimes, though, I wonder to what degree each person looks at the merits of the other person versus what the person can do for yourself. I've always chosen friends who have values similar to mine and who I have something in common, but I often neglect looking at how they might treat me in the future. It's impossible to see into the future, of course, but..it can be crazy to realize that the people that you have chosen, the people you spend your free time with, the people you love the most,
can really not be doing much for you except to make you feel good. And I think that that's okay. But you also have to make sure you have mostly equal friendships in your life. People who listen and help you out as much as you do for them. YOU have to do for them what they do for you...it's only fair, and it's only what will make a friendship that you cherish.
Don't be lazy. Surround yourself with people that make you want to be better, and make you want to be a good friend to them. The best of friendships teach us selflessness, that we must give up some things to be a good friend to someone who is worth the sacrifice.
In other news...it's almost Halloween! I have something of a hell week up through Friday, but this weekend looks like it's going to be a lot of fun! Just something to look forward to :)
1 comment:
"Surround yourself with people that make you want to be better, and make you want to be a good friend to them." i really like that part..and i tried to write something about how i totally agree and understand what you're saying, but you said it best.
Post a Comment