Promote

As this week dawns on us, I realize that last week was sort of...perfect. Well, not perfect. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But it was busy and exciting and so good. I got 2 promotions! I am not the Domestic and Sexual violence liasion/expert/activist for the Women's Resource Center! I am planning all of these amazing events and it's so incredible to be able to be physically affecting change for the thing you are most passionate about.

I also got "promoted" to co-director on the tv show I am on. I used to direct all the time, and I realized how much I missed it when I got to be on set without the pressure of being in front of the camera. I love it so much...doing something you enjoy, however small, can never be considered a waste of time.

My future lays before me, and I know that now. It will be beautiful, no matter how hard or how uncertain it seems now. I think extracting the joy out of any situation is both probable and very, very hard. Many situations lend themselves to misery, but not one is without its silver lining. Though I can't pretend that I am always happy, I do know that I'm being cared for, and my life is pretty good, in many ways that most of my peers couldn't even begin to imagine. I have an unconditional support in my mom...do many 19 year olds care about that? I have an incredible reserve of self confidence and self assurance...does anyone even give that thought? Everyday, I try to be fearless, and we all operate out of fear. And truly, I'm scared of it all, scared to trust most of all. Trying to not be independent 100% of the time is not something I'm so excited about. "The only person you can really trust is yourself", my cynical life philosophy, is something I'm working on letting fall away.

In the meantime, I settle for looking for the joy in every day. No, we mustn't measure our time so grandly. Not in months, weeks, or days, but in minutes. In moments.